I get an appointment letter in the mail, I can see it's from the hospital straight away. My first thought is my surgery date & I instantly get butterflies. I open the letter after about 20 mins of hesitation.
It reads Appointment for 14th April in the surgical clinic.
I don't think that means surgery but Im not completely sure so I get on the phone to confirm.
I end up finding out they didnt communicate that I didn't undergo my surgery on the 27th Feb and this was a follow up appointment. Im a bit annoyed, its like rubbing salt into my wounds.
I end up being put through to the bookings lady for my surgeon and ask if there has been a date made for me because the surgical clinic are wanting to make a follow up appointment for me. She tells me that Im booked in for the 10th April but am also on standby for the 17th March.
Wow that is really close! My head scrambles as I try to think if I am even able to make that date. She informs me that there will be a medical meeting to find out if there are any priority patients and if there is they will take the 17th. Im told to wait for a phone call in 5 days.
The call comes, The 17th is free for me but I turn it down. I feel selfish and stupid for complaining for the last 2 yrs about waiting so long and then i have to turn it down. My husband's work isnt ready, Im not completely ready or feeling organised so I stick with the 10th April. It seems like the perfect date as it is after Darrell & Bailey's birthday and then the day after is the start of the school holidays.
Im still very scared that my date will be canceled but I'm really hoping its not. Im ready for this and cannot wait.
The days are getting closer. Its only 15 days away. I have Bailey's birthday nearly all sorted and all my surgery stuff ready. Every now and then I get butterflies but it's not as much as I thought it would be. Im not sure how i feel but I know I will probably start to freak out a few days before or on the day. I think its just the unknown which is the scary part. Not knowing how Im going to feel after. Im trying to prepare myself to be in alot of pain and trying to prepare myself health wise as much as possible.
Bailey's party is all over, I was hoping for a nice relaxing day but it didnt go as plan. First we were locked out for half an hour and had to ring to have it opened. I had parents and Bailey's friends standing around and I felt stupid. Then we had a few tears from a few different kids and then to top it off the bouncy castle ran out of fuel 40 mins before the party was over. It was quite a stressful day but I had so much help from everyone which was a blessing.
The week of my surgery. Sunday night I was good, going through my bag and writing a list of what else to pack. Happy excited and ready. Then Monday hit, the day was fine but night time came and i lost it. I cried and cried. I have no idea why. I know im just over emotional and its very normal but i couldnt pin point a certain reason. It's very over whelming but I still have never second guessed my choice. The thing that upsets me the most is not being at home but Im trying to think about the positives of that. which are healing better in hospital, a little more peace and quiet, everything on hand if anything goes wrong and only for hopefully 2 weeks max.
